#10: Kitano

Movie he's from: Battle Royale

Why he could kick your ass: Acknowledged that he was hired by Fukasaku to play a version of himself

An ex-teacher from Shiroiwa Junior High School's 3-B class, he left after one of the students stabbed him. Then he became administrator of the Battle Royale Program! For anyone who hasn't seen this movie, the main plot focuses around a class of students (picked at random) that participate in the government funded Battle Royale program.

Essentially all the students are told to kill each other off until only 1 survivor remains, or they all die. Fun, huh? But what truly makes this guy badass is his last scene. After being shot repeatedly with a machine gun, he answers his phone, throws it on the ground, shoots it with a gun he was hiding, eats a cookie, and then dies. All while three students are there next to him.

#9: Morpheus

Movie he's from: Matrix Series

Why he could kick your ass: Resists Agent Smith's interrogation long enough to be rescued

Anyone who has seen the first Matrix remembers Smith's famous interrogation scene. You know, the one about how he hates "the smell" of the Matrix. He was hacking into Morpheus's brain. He wanted Zion's codes. Trinity even said it was only a matter of time until Morpheus's brain cracked. But he didn't crack! He had enough faith in Neo to endure his torture. In fact, he's one of the only characters that actually believes Neo is the One throughout the entire trilogy. This man is unbreakable, and he could break you.

#8: Lieutenant Roget

Movie he's from: Paths of Glory

Why he could kick your ass: Throws grenades at his own men

While on the battlefield, this dude decides to get drunk. After sending one of his two men to scout ahead in enemy territory, he sees "movement in the direction of the enemy" and decides to throw a grenade. After he realizes he killed his own man, he runs back to base leaving his remaining officer to fend for himself. Yeah, this guy's an asshole, but it gets worse. After denying a charge of manslaughter, he chooses the officer that was with him during the battle (the one not killed) to be executed for cowardice. Hah, the irony! Don't get in this guys way.

#7: Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade

Movie he's from: Scent of a Woman

Why he could kick your ass: Juggles grenades

Continuing on with the hand grenade theme, this man like to juggle them. Drunk. Apparently, this is how he lost his eyesight. But enough of that. Slade's buddy Charlie is about to be expelled from his prep-school when Colonel Slade delivers a compelling speech on his behalf. He reveals that Charlie has been offered a bribe to inform on his own friends. This is when When Slade says "If I was half the man I was five years ago, I'd take a flame thrower to this place!" You hear that? A FLAMETHROWER.

#6: Admiral Ackbar

Movie he's from: Star Wars

Why he could kick your ass: Can see through your traps

So let's say you are a commanding officer in a space fleet. Suddenly, a shitload of enemy forces appear in front of you. This is when you thank the lucky stars that Admiral Ackbar is on your side. "It's a Trap!" Thank you Admiral, I would have never known.

#5: General Patton

Movie he's from: Patton

Why he could kick your ass: Will slap anyone

Patton may exist in real life but was too amazing to pass up on this list. The "slapping incident" nearly ended Patton's career. According to witnesses, General Patton was visiting patients at a military hospital in Sicily, and came upon a weeping 24-year-old soldier named Charles Kuhl. Patton asked "What's the matter with you?" and the soldier replied, "It's my nerves, I guess. I can't stand shelling." Patton "thereupon burst into a rage" and ordered him back to the front. Patton then "struck the youth in the rear of the head with the back of his hand". Reportedly, the nurse "made a dive toward Patton, but was pulled back by a doctor." Patton continued on to other patients, then returned and berated the soldier again. Brutal! Patton later died from a jeep accident a day before we was due to return to the US. LOL.

#4: Kazundo Gouda

Movie he's from: Ghost in the Shell 2nd Series

Why he could kick your ass: Has an inferiority complex

First off, let me say that pretty much ANY character from the Ghost in the Shell series could be on this list. They could ALL kick your ass. But if I had to choose one character, it would be this guy. From the start, this guy kicks ass. Involved in a mysterious accident, he chose not to repair his face but rather keep it in a horribly disfigured form. Why? So he could INTIMIDATE everyone around him. Gouda is also the head of a data manipulation division within the Cabinet Intelligence Service, which means he can do whatever he wants. He is the mastermind antagonist of the series, as he planned to use Japan's numerous postwar refugees in order to create social unbalance and political upheaval. His character resembling his face, he appears polite and well-spoken but seems to have ulterior, warped motives. And he has an inferiority complex.

#3: General Ripper

Movie he's from: Dr. Strangelove

Why he could kick your ass: Will do anything to protect "precious bodily fluids"

General Jack D. Ripper is named after Jack the Ripper, and his primary concern about Communism is his assertion that water fluoridation is "a Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids." This, of course, was made aware to him when his "loss of essence" during sexual intercourse greatly fatigued him. The point is, this guy is a lunatic. After Ripper uses "Plan R", an emergency war plan enabling a senior officer to launch a retaliation strike against the Soviets, U.S. Army troops sent by the President arrive at Burpelson to arrest him. Because Ripper has warned his men that the enemy might attack disguised as American soldiers, the base's security forces, and Ripper himself, open fire on them. LOL

#2: John Preston

Movie he's from: Equilibrium

Why he could kick your ass: Holds the record for third most onscreen kills seen in a single film by a single character (118)

Do the words "Grammaton Cleric First Class" mean anything to you? They also mean "run away and hide your babies." This guys works for the government to hunt down "sense offenders", or people that don't take their daily dose of the emotion suppressing drug Prozium. In case that didn't sink in, this guy has no emotions. His own wife was executed for being a sense offender. But this is just the beginning. Preston is also a master of "gun kata", a fictional martial arts technique that involves using statistics and geometrics to determine the most efficient way to shoot enemies and avoid return fire. This means nothing touches Preston, but he can certainly touch you. The icing on the cake is that the entire ending sequence from Equilibrium was deemed so badass that they copied almost every aspect of it for the ending sequence in Wanted. Preston earns position 2 for most kickass military character from a movie.

#1: Colonel Shikishima

Movie he's from: Akira

Why he could kick your ass: Hates corrupt politicians and capitalists

"Enough! Open up your eyes and look at the big picture; You're all puppets of corrupt politicians and capitalists."What? You don't remember the Colonel from Akira? He was the most memorable character, the one who begins as the antagonist responsible for the total destruction of Tokyo but ends up being the most honorable character bent on saving Neo-Tokyo from a second similar fate. The scene where the military tries to arrest him captures just how baddass this guy actually is. A congressman delivers a speech on how the Colonel is insubordinate and must be arrested. The Colonel then gives his infamous quote (seen above) and orders his men to "shoot him." He then convinces all the soldiers around him to leave the "corrupt politicians and capitalists" and join him in his quest to save Neo-Tokyo. Yeah!And that concludes my list!

These aren't a bunch of obscure art-house movies that you could only find in specialist stores. If your video store doesn't stock these movies, ask them to get them in.

1. Dogville

   A dark and chilling theatrical film set in anywhere USA that will open your eyes and make you think.
   
   Director Lars Von Trier took some very famous actors, including Nicole Kidman and Lauren Becall, and isolated them for the duration of the movie's production. The result is an unforgettable story about the vileness of humanity and the hypocrisy of forgiveness.
   
   Nicole Kidman is a woman on the run from the mob who seeks sanctuary in a town which turns against her and seeks to defile and destroy her innocence and trust.
   
   'Dogville' is filmed on a stage set with minimal props and chalk outlines to suggest scenery, including the dog. This movie is dramatically different from all the computer animated glossy action blockbuster films.

2. Battle Royale

   A Japanese sci-fi action horror movie which will thrill and shock you while keeping you completely glued to your seat. Only the Japanese could make this movie and make it so brilliantly. There's probably a remake but I'd hate to see one. The teenage actors in "Battle Royale" are frighteningly realistic as a bunch of innocent children set upon each other in a cruel and ruthless reality TV style competition.
   
   “Oh look there! There she is! The winner's a girl! Surviving a fierce battle that raged two days, seven hours, and 43 minutes - the winner is a girl! Look, she's smiling! Smiling! The girl definitely just smiled!”

3. Japanese Story

   Toni Collette returned to her roots for this hauntingly beautiful movie set in outback Australia. The first half of "Japanese Story" is simply enchanting just to sit and watch while you're drawn into the tender development of the relationship between the two culturally opposite characters, Sandy and Hiromitsu.
   
   Then the movie takes a shocking turn and you simply can't stop your emotions from taking over. This movie is so refreshing and human, it must be watched!

4. A Room With a View

   Way, way back during Helena Bonham Carter's beginnings is this fantastic period comedy also staring Daniel Day-Lewis and a whole cast of brilliant British actors.
   
   But this isn't some Jane Eyre Emily Bronte period twaddle to bore you half to death. There's naughty bits and nudity and constant hilarity. "A Room With a View" is very intelligent and witty and a pure pleasure to watch over and over again. In fact, I want to go and rent the DVD now.

5. Mermaids

   'Mermaids' gave us an amazing performance by cosmetic queen, Cher. She is just wonderful as a single mother who only cooks finger food and moves to a new town every time life gets challenging.
   
   Winona Ryder shines as Cher's idealistic and somewhat hopeless 15-year-old daughter whose innocence rapidly diminishes as the film progresses. There's a steamy scene in a bell-tower that remains quite memorable.

6. To Kill a Mockingbird

   If you haven't already seen this movie because you studied the book in high school, get out NOW and rent the DVD. No excuses! This is one of the most masterful stories of all time and this movie may be the best adaptation of a novel ever made.
   
   This beautiful masterpiece looks at the world through the eyes of a child and shows us a wide-eyed view of racial inequality and attitudes towards mental disabilities.
   
   In the eyes of Jem and Scout, their father Atticus Finch is a hero who lives his life with full strength of conviction, humility and tenderness, and it is those same qualities in the movie that ensure "To Kill a Mockingbird" will last forever.

7. O Brother Where Art Thou

   This quirky retelling of the great Greek story, The Odyssey, is a laugh-until-you-cry comedy staring the fabulous George Clooney as a “Dapper Dan Man” escaped convict desperately trying to get home to his wife before she marries a new suitor.
   
   The Coen brothers always make brilliant films, but this one stands out because of the size of the cast and the sheer scope of taking on The Odyssey in a manner that Homer certainly never saw coming.
   
   Film critics actually panned "O Brother Where Art Thou" because they thought it was offensive Americans from the Southern States, but who cares? It was hilarious!

8. Whale Rider

   This is a visually striking movie about a young Maori girl growing up against the expectations of her tribe's traditions as she is kept from achieving her destiny by her grandfather's prejudice against her female gender.
   
   Her determination and strength to prove her worth in a culture that shows no appreciation for her abilities is inspiring and moving. If you don't know anything, or much, about the Maori people in New Zealand, "Whale Rider" will give you a chance to experience a different culture through a breathtakingly beautiful and power story.

9. The Witches of Eastwick

   A wickedly delicious movie that pretty much covers all seven deadly sins, but all in good fun. Cher, Susan Sarandon and Michelle Pfieffer play three desperate housewives who summon the devil into their lives, and have a fabulous time until he overstays his welcome and they realise they don't need the poor sap anymore.
   
   The horny little devil is played by Jack Nicholson in one of his best roles, seducing the women through the simplicity of Christian morals and suburbia that are tennis, swimming pools and classical music.
   
   'The Witches of Eastwick' was an instant classic the moment it was released.

10. Stand By Me

    As an adaptation of a Stephen King short story, "Stand By Me" really broke the rules and did away with any horror movie plot in favour of being a coming-of-age story about 4 boys on the cusp of becoming men.
    
    The story nostalgically embodies the camaraderie of the friendships we all had when we were innocent 12 year olds, and captures the innocence of that age through the characters of Chris, Gordie, Teddy and Vern as they leave behind their fading childhood.
    
    This movie helps to remind us why it's so tragic that River Phoenix died so young. He will always be remembered for his heart-breaking performance as Chris, the little boy whose life was preordained as a lost cause and who never stood a chance.

Ah, Roman Polanski, what can we say about the pervy Pole? There are very few of his fantasies that have not appeared in his films at one point or another, and we say, well done Roman! This film is set aboard a ship sailing towards Istanbul and is full of the bored and the rich. Seigner, playing Mimi a sensual exhibitionist of the first degree, was Polanski's real life wife at the time.

She and Scott Thomas kiss in front of a crowd of people. Of course, Scott Thomas' husband is outraged. Mimi's husband (played masterfully by Peter Coyote, the jingly keys scientist in ET: The Extra Terrestrial) says to him, “Oh, stop sulking, man. You ought to be glad they're getting on so well”. A good line. Shame about the rest of the film.

Before Lara, and before Brad, Angelina was making a name for herself as a serious actress. This 19980 HBO funded movie garnered her an Emmy nomination. In the film, she plays the supermodel Gia Carangi. Based on a real life story, the film tells the story of the model's death from AIDS.

Poignant and touching, a real favourite and one of the few films on this list, to be honest, that includes lesbian kissing as an integral part of the plot, rather than for the titillation of the heterosexual men watching.

One of the better coming of age films of recent years, Evie Zamore (Reed) stars (in a script that she co-wrote) about a rebellious teenage girl who takes the Wood character, Tracy Freeland, into a new and exciting world of promiscuity, drugs, lesbian experimentation and self-mutilation.

The scene comes when Evie teases Tracy about her inexperience on the kissing front. Tracy's response - a classic - is that she and a friend practiced with Cruel Intentions - see the film on this list also. Her first attempt to prove this, leaves Evie unimpressed - cue an even more passionate snog.

Sometimes known as “Betty Does Hollywood”, this features then little known Naomi Watts as a girl who wins a dance competition and moves to her Aunt's house in Hollywood. She meets Rita who, after an attempt on her life, is suffering from amnesia. The two set out to discover the real truth. This film is one of Lynch's less surreal, but still has a lot of his characteristic touches - the dwarf (who believes himself to be the devil) and people with odd personality tics - such as the hood who will only drink a certain kind of coffee.

The lesbian scenes do come as quite a surprise to many and the angry pointy ginger of exploitation has been pointed at Lynch. I disagree - Lynch's portrayal of friendship between women which becomes sexual has both nuance and sensitivity.

Matt Dillon struggles manfully as a college lecturer against the machinations of two of his students (played by Richards and Campbell) when they both accuse him of raping them.

Kevin Bacon also gets a look in (and a full frontal) playing a cop who is suspicious of the girls' accusations. This really is a poor film and one wonders why the four stars would agree to appear in such exploitative tosh. Ho hum, never mind.

Holy Smoke stars Winslett and Harvey Keitel. She plays a young woman who is kidnapped by Keitel in order to “deprogramme” her after her character has been involved with a cult.

This scene is at a bar when Winslett decides to be a rather naughty young lady with another girl she meets on the dance floor. At this point in her career, Winslett wanted to shrug off the good girl image she had thanks to films such as “Titanic”. This helped.

This 1985 film was very low on budget but big on heart. It was one of the first films to devote the whole running time to a love affair between two women (which ends on a high and happy note!) and as such won the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival the year after. It was also the first lesbian film written and directed by a woman - Donna Deitch.

It has at its heart the story of two women in late 1950's Reno. One is a professor from New York, Vivian Bell (played with understatement by Helen Shaver) and a younger woman, Cay, a free spirit before her times (Charbonneau in her debut film appearance). Not a film that is seen much, but highly recommended.

Lesbian kisses in vampire films are so common they are almost a sub-genre. 'The Hunger' is no exception, though is does rise above the likes of Ingrid Pitt cavorting around with her Hammer chums. This film is classy, albeit in a 1980s pop video kind of way. Susan Sarandon - pre-mega stardom - does her best with a slightly flaccid script involving a queen vampire (Deneuve) and her suddenly aging paramour (David Bowie).

As a hematologist, it is up to Sarandon to get to the bottom of Bowie's condition, which she attempts to do by getting to the bottom of Deneuve. Girl on girl action aside, this film boasts one of the best and most memorable opening sequences, where Bowie and Deneuve dispatch a pair of hapless victims to the ethereal tones of Bauhaus' “Bela Lugosi's Dead” - just fabulous!

This was a 1999 teen version of Dangerous Liaisons and it manages to transpose the story from eighteenth century France to modern day Manhattan skillfully and with more than a little wit. Sarah Michelle Gellar is cast against type as an uber-amoral destroyer of lives. She becomes determined to tarnish the clean living reputation of Cecile (Selma Blair) by befriending her, and slowly but surely, morally corrupting the poor thing.

This leads to a scene in the park where Geller attempts to teach Cecile how to french kiss. The connection between lesbianism and immorality here is a little dubious but the pair certainly make quite a go of it!

The life of Frida Kahlo, the Mexican painter, is told in this eponymously named film. Although ostensibly heterosexual, Kahlo (played by Hayek) had many affairs with women. This scene from the film shows her dancing with her on-off lover Chavela Vargas (Judd).

The scene is one of smoldering sexuality between the women and is a long drawn out dance between the two which culminates in the kiss. Striking and erotic, the definite number one of the list!

Ah, Swayze and Moore! Although this film has long since been discarded by most as a prime example of mid eighties uber-schmalz, I firmly believe it is time to get retro wallow in this film's sheer mass appeal to our lowest cuddly instincts. The particular tongue-tonselling extravaganza has Ms Moore (playing Molly) spinning her pottery wheel to the tune of “Unchained Melody” by The Righteous Brothers. Sam (Patrick Swayze) comes up behind her and they create a distinctly phallic looking object while canoodling.

Toe curling, irritating, pop video love between to people as shallow as their pottery? I don't care and I don't apologize. I love it!

This kiss really blew me away when I first saw it. “A Room With A View” was one of Merchant Ivory's adaptations of an E M Forster novel and as such is about unfettered love conquering buttoned-up Edwardian ideas of morality and sexuality. The two leads, Bonham Carter at her prettiest and Sands in his prime, bleed sexuality longing to be free throughout the film. This is the moment when in an unexpected and impetuous moment, George Emerson (Sands) kisses Lucy Honeychurch (Bonham-Carter) and her inner feelings are awakened. This leads to, well, you will have to watch the film. The whole sequence, in a wheat field, is beautifully shot and breathtaking!

For most people, the kiss they remember from this film is the one between Eliot and a school mate while the former is under the influence of an inebriate alien, due to their telepathic link. That particular kiss is then linked to John Wayne and Maureen O'Hara embrace from “The Quiet Man” (which does not make this list - sorry. Although memorable, the one that does it for me is the kiss between Gertie and ET right at the end when ET is about to go back home. Lovely, brings a lump to my throat and a tear to my eye each time. Hush now, you cynics, hush!

The moment when the viewer realized - with some relief - that this was an outer space epic not a film about incest. Han Solo finally gets the girl and Luke has to do with his hand that is now missing. We all though that Han was not going to get there when Leia announced that she “would rather kiss a wookie” but good old animal magnetism won out in the end, I guess. One shudders at the thought of an ageing Han Solo kissing. One hopes that Harrison Ford does not make the “Connery mistake” when considering the plotlines for the new Indiana Jones film!

The kiss of death! You may not have been expecting to see this in this list, but this is one of the best Hollywood kisses ever, despite the fact that it is not sexual, funny or schmaltzy. It is a kiss to send a shiver down the spine. Here Don Michael (Pacino) has worked out that it is Fredo, his own brother, who is the traitor he has been seeking. He walks up to Fredo and clasps him firmly around the neck, then kisses him hard on the mouth. “I know it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart, you broke my heart.” Cue one of the quickest fishing trips of the twentieth century.

This makes my list because it is a double whammy! It's a gay kiss which is also a kiss of infidelity. Ouch! A double forbidden kiss, this is the moment where Jack Twist and Ennis Delmar are reunited after their time on the mountain, and the pent up longing that has built up over the years just bursts through with violent passion. Some people do not like gay kissing on the screen (hey! Get with the century!) but even they must admit that this is one hell of a kiss! The extra “oh my god” factor is that the two men are seen by Delmar's wife when they assume they are well hidden. Michelle Williams (who played the wife, Alma) should have got a Best Supporting Actress for her brilliant, dumfounded then angry woman scorned.

This is a favourite and one that has been spoofed many times on TV and on film. The Tramp takes The Lady (who he calls Pidge - short for Pigeon) to a little Italian place that he knows for a spot of light supper. They eat the same strand of spaghetti and their heads are drawn inexorably closer as they blithely chew their pasta. Finally, when their heads meet, they have this lovely little kiss. It's not a big moment and it quite understated for Disney, which is what make sit special. Plus I dare you not to go “aaaw” when it happens!

The aggressive, snarly, taken kiss! Ladies, don't you just love it? In this scene Scarlett has just given Rhett Butler the cold shoulder, the shallow little minx that she is. Rhett grabs her, holds her so she can't get away and gives her a kiss of such ferocity that you think her face may cave in at any moment. Then he picks her up and carries her upstairs as she screams at the top of her lungs for him to stop. Upstairs, very daring for a film made at this time! Although most women may not want something like this to happen to them, it must be noted that they too can be the sexual aggressor. Remember Marilyn Monroe in “Some Like It Hot”? On the yacht with Tony Curtis it is she who will not take no for an answer!

I am a sucker for this one every time! In Hollywood films it is sometimes the location for which the kiss is remembered. Again, an adulterous kiss (Deborah Kerr's character is married) this is made all the more memorable because of the setting on a lush and beautiful Hawaiian beach. The fact that the actors were possibly two of the most beautiful people on the planet at the time, also adds to the effect. This sequence takes the breath away even now, so many decades later. Unlike many of the films in this list, however, most people would be at a loss to name the film, let alone recount the plot, but most recognize this most iconic of smoochy moments.

Hitchcock put a huge amount of effort in to getting his films right and even more so when it came to the clinch - the scene where the mains characters finally kiss. He even managed to break the film censorship rules of the day, in “Notorious”. Here he takes the beautiful pre-princess Grace Kelly and the recumbent James Stewart. Kelly makes her first appearance in the film and moves slowly towards the sleeping Stewart. You see a close up of his face and a shadow moving over it which turns in to a close up of Kelly as she leans to kiss him. Stewart wakes up and sees (as we do) this drop dead gorgous woman in front of him. As far as framing and execution goes, the best film kiss ever committed to celluloid.

1. “Pirates of Caribbean: At World's End” (112,5 mil. dollars)
2. “Shrek the Third” (51 mil. dollars)
3. “Spider-Man 3” (13,7 mil. dollars)
4. “Bug” (3,3 mil. dollars)
5. “Waitress” (2,9 mil. dollars)
6. “28 Weeks Later” (2,4 mil. dollars)
7. “Georgia Rule” (1,9 mil. dollars)
8. “Disturbia” (1,8 mil. dollars)
9. “Fracture” (1,2 mil. dollars)
10. “Wild Hogs” (1,1 mil. dollars)