It's a fact that old school movie monster movies don't really phase society today. Sure they were considered groundbreaking and revolutionary for the time. It also might have garnered quite a scare from the audience, but in today's day and age, all it does is make us laugh. Now although the movies themselves are laughable, the ideas behind them are downright frightening. The writers definitely had something good going there. Filmmakers have been implementing the ideas of the monsters in their movies for decades but most of them just suck. Sure some of them have successfully recreated the monster in the crappiest way possible but none of them have made a work of art that manages to make us crap our pants when we're watching the movie. So in society of movies like The Grudge where inanimate objects seem to like taking revenge on humans for no apparent reason we need these monsters to come back and make us drop a hefty one in our pants again.
Dracula
A lot of people have forgotten how absolutely frightening this guy is. I mean, he wakes up at night, turns into a bat, finds unsuspecting people and inserts his razor like teeth into their necks to suck their blood. What the hell are people doing not making more movies about this guy! He drinks blood for sustenance! Isn't that enough to make you squirm!? Doesn't the fact that this guy can suck you dry kinda creep you out? Sure, he has a few obvious flaws that make his character a bit cheesy but put into the hands a competent screenwriter and a good director and you've got a scary movie that's able to make people cry. Isn't that what we've been aiming for people! The only Dracula movie that's even come close was the 1992 version “Bram Stroker's Dracula” and even that had a quite a bit if fagginess in it. Where is the badass Dracula we've all been waiting for. Well wherever it is, it needs to come out and make people buy truckloads of garlic.
Modern Day Monster Comparison: “Saw”
Believe it or not, the guy from the “Saw” movie franchise is the closest thing we got to Dracula. He seems to enjoy seeing people dying in blood.
Frankenstein
There has always been the monster that will almost never be too frightening. In fact, Frankenstein has pretty much been the idiot of monsters. He manages to make everything he does funny is some way. Frankenstein could be ripping the limbs apart off a cute little child and the child's parents would be laughing while he's doing it. Hell, even the child would find it comical if the searing pain wasn't stopping him from laughing. You see, that's the problem with Frankenstein, no one takes him seriously. That's because besides the original 1910 ver sion there have been no serious Frankenstein movies. Even in the 2002 movie “Van Helsing” Frankenstein was the retarded monster who just wanted to be human. The fact that Frankenstein is always used to benefit someone else doesn't help his case either. But there is hope for our freak of a friend. Put into the hands of a good director and an even better special effects artist Frankenstein can become quite the scary beast he should be. It would also help a lot if someone cut the emotional crap from him. The “I just wanna be human WAH WAH WAH!” emotions he always feels. When someone goes to see a horror movie they don't want to see emotions, they want to see freaky looking things be freaky. Frankenstein needs to come back, just not so gay.
Modern Day Monster Comparison: Any Zombie Movie
When you think about it, Frankenstein is just a reanimated corpse with different people's body parts. In other words, he's a zombie.
Godzilla
The gentle giant has never been a term to describe Godzilla. (Or as the Japanese like to say “GOJIRA!”) Godzilla has always brought upon death and destruction wherever he goes. Well, except when he's fighting other mythical creatures, but even then he manages to destroy some buildings. Godzilla's first appearance in 1954 scared the living chumba wumba's out of the Japanese. Then it scared the chumba wumba's out of the rest of the world by taking King Kong and actually making it sca ry. Imagine how scared you would be if a giant lizard would pick up your house and eat its inhabitants in one bite. The only problem is that there hasn't been a decent Godzilla movie since 1954. You would think the 1998 rendition of Godzilla would make some people scared but all it did was make them angry. With all of our technological advances, it's completely possible to make a spine crushingly scary Godzilla movie.
Modern Day Monster Comparison: “Cloverfield”
The crab crapping monster from Cloverfield
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
I know what you're thinking. What the hell does Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde have that's even remotely scary. Well let's look at it from a logical point of view. Other than the 1931 film there has never been a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde movie that is even worth mentioning. That contributes to most of what's keeping Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde very timid. But another small portion of what's kept him so laughable is the fact that the movie made him out to be just another Frankenstein when he's in his Mr. Hyde form. When you think about it Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde can be one of the scariest monsters of all time. Simply because of the fact that he is human and he created himself to be a monster. Dr. Jekyll was responsible for his own fate. One of the things man has feared most is himself. Mix that fact with a good screenplay, clever directing and a nasty-ass version of Mr. Hyde and we got ourselves one hell of a scary movie. Now I am the first to admit though that it would not be easy making a genuinely scary version of this monster but put in the right hands and it can be done. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde have been aching to make their triumphantly horrifying return. Someone just needs to be courageous enough to bring them back.
Modern Day Monster Comparison: “The Hills Have Eyes”
They were human, then they we're ugly humans. (But “The Hills have Eyes” monsters are always ugly)
