We all have those days where our primal psychotic tendencies start to kick in and make us want to watch buckets of blood and guts getting spilled in movies. Most horror or slasher flicks will satisfy those cravings for blood, but why stick with the well-known monsters like Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers? You can see plenty of gore in all the B and C horror movies that never make it to theaters, yet you also get the awesomely-horrible acting that goes along with them. I "randomly" selected 5 movies for the weekend that I've never heard of before which means I dove in without any idea how good or bad they would be. Here is a quick review and ranking of those movies:
Drive Thru
My favorite out of the 5 that I grabbed, it has almost everything a good horror/slasher flick needs: gore (there's lots and a nice variety of deaths too), wiggers (they get killed hooray!), preps (they get killed too! Double hooray!), and an awesome villain in the form of a demonic clown thing hellbent on slaughtering loads of people. The overall plot is a cookie-cutter horror movie but I liked the clown and his personality definitely seems modeled after Freddy Krueger. It's worth watching if you don't have much else to do, and you get bored easily like me. The cover of the DVD is probably one of the coolest things though, nothing better than an axe through a hamburger with lots of blood, or chili or something red and goeyish spilling out.
Loch Ness Terror
It's played on the Sci-Fi channel before and it's definitely not the best horror movie out there. The usual beast-terrorizes-town movie, but the characters and some of what they do makes me laugh a bit. This movie has also given me a better appreciation of microwaves and how we should turn them into guns. Also puppets are cool but look nothing like their CG counterparts.
Blood Dolls
Completely ridiculous and hilarious for the same reasons. After about the first twenty minutes the hilarity has started to pass and then you just ask yourself, "Why the hell am I watching this?" And the answer is because everyone is scared of 12 in. dolls that can tackle a 250 pound man to the ground. I personally would have enjoyed it more if the dolls talked a bit but you know, it's a pretty low budget movie and stuff so you can't really expect too much. It's only an 85 minute movie so don't expect to be entertained for long, but the fairly short runtime is good because if it were any longer the movie would seem to drag on forever. Worth seeing if you like dolls and stupid movies as much as I do haha.
Lost Colony
Yeah, I always wondered what happened to that one British colony in Virginia and now I know the truth! Well it must be mostly true since it is based on real events. Crazy ghost witch things make people disappear all the time. I also learned an important lesson from this movie: vikings don't go to heaven or hell, they just eat peoples souls and stuff. Which is cool because I'm kinda sorta part viking so I guess I can look forward to that fun afterlife.
Death Tunnel
Not much more to say about this movie other than "Wow what a crappy movie" but I did like all the crazy noises and flashing images, awesome for inducing seizures. This movie is similar to House on Haunted Hill if you've seen that movie. The story confused me right off the bat and the choppy chronological order of events made my head hurt a lot. So I guess I can suggest this movie to people who like really annoying puzzles? Although you might enjoy it if you like watching women explore haunted asylum places in lingerie, but who says no to a movie like that? (As a side note it's not a porno and the chicks don't have crazy sex with the ghosts).
