Since I work with movies almost exclusively, I get lots of opportunities to explore a plethora of movie debates. Lately I've been asking co-workers and schoolmates which of the National Lampoon's vacation movies is best.
Sadly, roughly 85% of respondees claim "Christmas" is the best. It is my self-appointed duty to disprove this notion. The belief that "Christmas" is the best of the National Lampoon's vacation movies is folly. Saying "Christmas" is the best is like saying plain Life cereal is better when every idiot on the street corner knows cinnamon Life is hella better.
While I may not be able to quote "Christmas" as thoroughly as I should, there is no need: none of the jokes in this movie are funny. The seemingly hilarious slapstick and scenes such as the septic tank are purely juvenile. National Lampoon's is above such petty humor.
We've all seen men gawk over women before. The jewelry store scene in "Christmas" (more specifically the one with the large-breasted woman) has been played out hundreds of times. Compare this supposedly hot lady to Christie Brinkley of the first vacation film. Perhaps some of you prefer the football=shouldered working women akin to Dolly Parton of the late 80's, but I prefer women that are actually attractive.
More evidence: while I do find Julliette Lewis to be very nice looking and all that, her post-pubescent portrayal in "Christmas" is plain annoying. The changing of the Griswold son and daughter was inevitable, but moving from Anthony Michael Hall and Dana Barron to the rest of the films was the hardest of blows. Anthony's Rusty was adorable, and Dana's Audrey was the epitome of a young lass growing up during the transitional period of the early 80's.
Action is "Christmas" is kept to a bare minimum. The chase scene in the very beginning of the movie is nothing we haven't seen before. Granted, the crash in the original film isn't exactly something to write home about, but the fact that the car takes flight in the middle of the desert is enough to solidify the fact it is leagues above the abysmal "running into a big pile of snow" in "Christmas."
Sometimes the best argument is the most obvious. "Christmas" is a Christmas movie. This allows you to watch it and not look completely awkward during roughly a month and a half. The original film can be viewed at any point during the calendar year. (One could make the argument it's the only watchable during the summer, when most Americans make their yearly vacations. This argument has some validity, but people take vacations throughout the year. I don't see anyone decking the halls during April.)
Beverly D'Angelo. Being a male, I can certainly appreciate a free boob shot. You don't see Ellen Griswold running around topless in "Christmas." "But John, it's a family movie." Argument invalidated due to the following reason.
Let's get to a real issue. Any film with "National Lampoon's" in front of its title is not a family movie. While all the vacation films have a central theme of family and togetherness at their core, it is "Christmas" that takes this theme and runs with it like a Kenyan. "National Lampoon's" denotes a film that isn't family friendly, as noble as its intentions may be. People watch these movies for the crude humor, the language and nudity. "Christmas" is literally devoid of such adult antics we National Lampoon's lovers are in love with:
You may have noticed I have mentioned the original film several times during this edition of "Wearing A Cape Makes You A Superhero," and it's no coincidence: it is the best of all the vacation movies. "European" is a close, close second, with "Vegas" trailing far behind in third. ("Vegas" was made in an odd position, eight years after "Christmas." The National Lampoon's brand of humor significantly dwindled during those eight years, sadly. Perhaps due to "Christmas" being a horrible film.) Obviously "Christmas" is in fourth place.**
And there you have it. I find a dead grandmother on the roof of a car during a torrential downpour to be much funnier than an old man blowing up a Christmas tree with a cigar. And simply put, the poster for the original movie is truly epic.
**There was a fifth film made in 2003 that starred Randy Quiad as Clark's brother, but we won't speak of this as a true "Vacation" movie.
