Altogether worthy of its title, Disaster Movie is a catastrophically unfunny farce of disastrous proportions. Not so much a film with a coherent plot but a witless check list of satirical jabs at blockbusters and pop idols (Hannah Montana, Justin Timberlake, Amy Winehouse, Michael Jackson), it tirelessly attempts to spoof every big film released in recent times.
The same formula has been milked before by writer/directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer who follow their past projects Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans (all crass money-making comedies mocking other movies) to achieve the impossible by making a film far worse than any of the aforementioned flicks (or any film in history, ever).
Sadly Disaster Movie has all of the charm and coherence of a drunken Amy Winehouse, whose impersonator here guzzles gasoline, burps and slurs in a Dick Van Dyke-like cockney accent. Even sadder is the fact that there must be a market for this trite because the dim-witted directorial duo behind this disaster just keeps churning them out.
The feeble theme (loosely built around Cloverfield) that tries to tie all of the random ideas together is that All-American hunk Will (Matt Lanter) is attempting to rescue his beautiful squeeze Amy (Vanessa Minillo) when the Earth becomes the target of every natural disaster imaginable. Joined on his quest by Calvin (G-Thang), Will runs into an assortment of characters from at least two dozen films including: 10,000 BC, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, No Country for Old Men, Wanted, Juno, High School Musical, Sex and the City, Jumper, Prince Caspian, Enchanted, Hancock, Iron Man, Hellboy, The Incredible Hulk, Get Smart, Alvin & The Chipmunks, A Night at the Museum and Kung-Fu Panda.
The fundamental error in this film’s concept is that if you don’t actually recognise any of the movies being mocked you will no doubt be completely lost for near-on 90 minutes. On the other hand, if you find juvenile, homophobic, politically incorrect jokes about burps, breast milk and other bodily fluids hilarious then this is your kinda show.
The film’s few highlights include: a five-second appearance by Carmen Electra’s cleavage; ‘Michael Jackson’ being discovered in the boot of a car with a child and a monkey exclaiming: “What? We’re just playing with my monkey”; and (it doesn’t remotely reach laugh-out-loud status but is about as humorous as this motion picture gets) when Sex and the City’s Carrie emerges as a dude in drag; the resemblance to Sarah Jessica Parker is strangely uncanny.
To sum up: Disaster Movie sucks. A freak show of gargantuan proportions, it’s so bad it makes you think that Friedberg and Seltzer actually want people to hate it. Frankly, this film is about as funny for its audience as hurricane Gustav was to the residents of Louisiana; the hard task is deciding which is the biggest disaster.
Starring: Matt Lanter, Vanessa Minillo, Carmen Electra, Kim Kardashian, G-Thang
Written & directed by: Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer
By Abbey Stirling
